DBT TOOL · BUILD BACK TRUST

Emotional Bank Account

When a relationship you rely on feels strained and thin - this helps you see the balance and start rebuilding trust, one small deposit at a time.

Emotional Bank Account, defined

Emotional Bank Account, defined The emotional bank account is a simple picture of a relationship. Every kind, reliable moment is a deposit; every sharp word or broken promise is a withdrawal. Healthy bonds keep a positive balance. When it runs low, you rebuild it one small deposit at a time.

Never a straight line. Trust is built in small deposits, day after day - and rebuilt the same way.

21 DAYS TO REWIRE A THOUGHT.
21 WEEKS TO REWIRE A LIFE.

Trust is not rebuilt in one grand gesture - it is built in small, kept promises. Notice how the bond feels. Name honestly what has drained it. Then make one small deposit - keep a tiny promise, listen fully, own a mistake. Small and steady is what fills the account.
⬇ Download this worksheet to send
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DBT TOOL · THE MOVES

The moves

Plain and small. Tap any move to open it.

1 · Notice the balance

Notice how the relationship feels right now - full and safe, or thin and strained.

2 · Spot withdrawals

Name the withdrawals - broken promises, sharp words, tuning out - without shame, just honestly.

3 · Make a deposit

Do one small thing that builds trust - keep a tiny promise, listen fully, show up.

4 · Repair a withdrawal

When you have overdrawn, repair it. A real sorry and a change is the biggest deposit there is.

5 · Step back and tell the difference

It is easy to miss which way the last few moments went. Step back and sort them honestly - not to keep score, but to see where to rebuild. Use the prompts in the record to tell it apart.

See one full pass
THE BALANCE
We have been sharp and distant for weeks.
WITHDRAWALS
I have been snapping and half-listening.
DEPOSIT
I kept one small promise today, fully.
REPAIR
'I am sorry I snapped last night. You did not deserve that.'
DISTRESS
Eased from 7/10 to 4/10.
One deposit did not fix it all. It started the balance turning. That is the rep.
DBT TOOL · YOUR TURN

Walk it through

Fill it in the moment, or just after. It works on paper too - no buttons needed.

My Emotional Bank Account
The relationship
Notice the balance
Spot withdrawals
Make a deposit
Repair a withdrawal
Step back and tell the difference
Deposit, or withdrawal? Step back

It is easy to miss which way the last few moments went. Step back and sort them honestly - not to keep score, but to see where to rebuild.

Distress before/10
Distress after/10
Say it
Your statement builds itself here as you work down the record.
Recover. Rebuild. Renew. · myMove21.com

No printer? Take a screenshot of the card above.

SHARE IT

Make a Shareable Card

This card fills itself in from your record above. Pick a shape, then save the full-size image.

Love keeps showing up in small, faithful ways. Every kept promise is a seed. You get still, you sow one, and you trust God to grow what you cannot force.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10 · NIV
Why it works

Small, positive, reliable moments are little rewards the brain learns to expect, and trust grows on them - read the research.

A general mechanism, not a guarantee. This supports good care; it does not replace it.